Super Bowl Commercials Super Blow

Now as everyone should be doing around this time of the year like myself, I was tuned in the first Sunday in February to watch the Super Bowl. It is an American tradition for almost 50 years now! That’s what those Roman Numerals means right? I along with millions of people believe it should be coined a national holiday, “Super Bowl Sunday”. I mean, up here (points to brain) it is, but not officially. Hell, the Monday that immediately follows it should be a day off, “Super Bowl Hangover Monday”…..okay, that one kinda drags on, but you get the idea. We’ll work on a different name at some point.

As it happens every year this event comes out, it was the most watched television broadcast in U.S. history. And why not? People tune in hoping for the greatest game on the gridiron. The un-biased football fans and the self-centered media could not have asked for a better 2-week period leading up to the game itself. Patriots/Belichick/Brady/DeflateGate + Seahawks/Sherman/LegionofBoom/TrashTalking = Boners for life and ratings through the roof! I had one roommate even show me a very faux Twitter page a day or two ago showing the page tweeted out the first week of September (the first week of the NFL season) that the New England Patriots would square off against the Seattle Seahawks, because the NFL is rigged and it is what the media would want……okay, whatever. So it might be. Everyone has an opinion.

Back to the day in itself. Some people aren’t exactly football enthusiasts. The Super Bowl has grown  a very strong tradition over the years of showcasing new releases of commercials, typically of the humorous variety, for big brand name companies. Look, I personally feel such companies do not need to continue to throw themselves out there and shoot themselves in the foot sometimes with commercials because they are already so successful and so well-known. But if it is for humor purposes, sign me up. The Super Bowl commercials are excellent ways to show movie trailers too, movies that are being released at some point that year. Sounds good right…….right?………..RIGHT???

Before I continue, here is a picture of my general reaction and opinion to Super Bowl XLIX’s commercials:


Holy. Shit. People. Might have been your worst showing of commercials I have ever seen. In my 14-15 years of watching a Super Bowl, watching the commercials, ENJOYING said commercials, you went and disappointed me. Like, you’re damn lucky it is a football game first and commercial entertainment second for most people, or else this would be a completely dumpster fire, as one of my role models Seth MacFarlane would put it. You didn’t just drop the ball, you took it, wrote “Fuck you all, humor is bad” on it, and threw it at your people. Yeah, because that will definitely get us interested in your companies. One commercial, McDonald’s is telling me I can get a free meal by letting them guilt bomb me into doing something corny and cheesy (Not that I’m opposed, I’m just saying)? The next I’m being told Nationwide is on my side when a close relative, possibly my future son, is upstairs OD’ing in his room? And I think every 3rd or 4th commercial shown, I felt inclined to call my dad and tell him I love him and tell him have a wonderful Father’s Day. That reminds me. I gotta get him something…..oh wait, not yet I don’t. It’s fucking February! The fuck is wrong with you people?

This is America? We like stupid, witty, smartass, classic humor. You gave that to us for years for this glorious event. This one day in the 365-day calendar, and now you’re taking it away. Don’t you ever go that safe route again. I would not be surprised if the Super Bowl starts losing viewing numbers and ratings because of those commercials. Like I said, there’s people who watch the big game strictly for the entertaining 15- or 30-second, sometime minute-long commercial, and that is fine. It adds to the enjoyment. I’m a huge football fan just like a lot of this country and I too enjoy the commercials….err, well, I did. They’re in the doghouse for now.

I hate commercials nowadays. I hate them so much. They are not funny anymore, big name companies make worse and worse commercials to get their points across. We know McDonald’s is the most popular fast food joint. We know Nationwide will help you in life situations. Don’t shove it down our throats, take it away from our REAL entertainment, and don’t milk things completely dry. You want to be successful in the commercial business? What do the following have in common: Game of War, AT&T, Hot Pockets, and Wendy’s have in common? They all have a pretty-faced and completely irrelevent spokeswoman for their commercials. And you can only milk those kind for so long. I like the AT&T girl, I’m sick of the fake Wendy’s redhead now, who the hell doesn’t love Kate Upton, and as corny as shit as it is, the Hot Pockets girl is pretty good lookin’ too. I’m not condoning these companies to use women to further ratings by the way.

Very very rarely do you see good commercials over and over again. Also very rarely do you see variability in the commercials. I think the commercial business or whatever the hell that is called is going down the tubes and is just desperate. Or I just hate them.

Here are some pictures of my general reactions towards some of the majorly disappointing Super Bowl XLIX commercials from Sunday:


Snuggle Bear


How About No



The Media Needs to Leave Athletes, Coaches Alone


See that? That is the feeling I get when the media talks about sports these days….or at least they think it is still sports.

This posting is a shout out to my very good friends and sports knowledgeable people, Brian Bobal and Ricky Lindsay.

I love sports. No denying that. That being said, there are a lot of things in today’s sports world that irk the living shit out of me. One of the biggest if not the absolute biggest is media. They have seriously got to be the most annoying, arrogant, and selfish people on the planet nowadays. This is more directed at the people who cover the games and are there are pre- and post-game interviews and all that jazz. Some of the questions that come out of these people’s mouths is just ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. It’s really sad to see that the media basically takes over every god damn sport in this country strictly for themselves, for money, for ratings, for recognition, and do not really give a flying fuck about the sport and its athletes and coaches. Like seriously, where do you draw the line in the sand with them? There has got to be one certain event that has happened in the last five to seven years that has just set the media off, giving them major league hard ons, and they see an opportunity to be the nosiest person on the face of the earth.

First off, it just seems like that it is no longer about a player’s performance on the court or field, and is ALWAYS about their personal lives. You know they have networks for you slimy self-centered people, the biggest one being TMZ. Speaking of TMZ, this goes and answers my question a little bit ago, about the one major event in sporting history recently that has sent the media in a frenzy. I think of when Tigers Woods crashed his car into a tree and then the story just unfolded day after day that he had been cheating on his wife with hundreds of women and whatnot. I remember clearly, there was wall-to-wall coverage on multiple networks for that time. Like, cover your own damn stories! There is no need for sports networks to be covering the personal lives of people, and there is sure as hell no need for noteworthy news stories to be covering a high profile athlete. Look, I’m not defending Tiger’s actions by any means. I know what he did was wrong and probably the worst thing any man, married or not, can do in his life. But God damnit, leave the man alone. He made a mistake. He knows it too. He fucked up big time. Me personally, I think part of the reason why he hasn’t been the same Tiger and has not won a major tournament since that event was because the media just ripped into him for days, months, years…..probably today still even! That’s what the media does today, they feed off the negative attention and news for the dumb middle-of-the-road people who don’t have a mind of their own so they easily sway those people. It is among the lowest levels of scum and disgust I’ve ever seen. I know, Tiger is clearly not the same person since, and it sure has reflected in his game. He is still a professional. I expect no less from him, and expect a whole hell of a lot more from the media. They always hype up and bring about these players nowadays and then when they see an opportunity, they strike and bring them down in flames. Just awful people.

My second point, how about some of the questions being asked by the media members? Are you fucking me? Why would you even ask three quarters of the questions you ask. You’re covering athletes and coaches, ask them questions they want to answer, which are the ones revolving around the game ON THE FIELD. I look back to not too long ago. In fact, last weekend, with this whole “deflated football” nonsense. Okay, so the New England Patriots had some footballs deflated. So what? Sure, every team likes to have their own game footballs a certain way, hence why the referees approve them before and after games. They used them in the first half, where they were only up by 10. Then they use “regular sized” footballs in the second half and outscore the Indianapolis Colts 28-0. How does that make sense exactly? Are we still talking about how the deflated footballs helped the Pats? Because according to the scores in each half, it really didn’t. What were the intentions on New England’s part anyway? Okay I got sidetracked there, back to the media……This could not have been any more of a textbook negative story for them to feed off of and barrage the Patriots with all week long in their practicing for the upcoming Super Bowl against the Seattle Seahawks. I paid attention to a good chunk of the media’s so called “coverage” of New England this week, I’m not sure if there were any questions regarding their practices or the big upcoming game. Like, as a fan, why does the media feel the need to swamp us with complete bullshit coverage and questions. I wanna hear about their preparations and what they think about Seattle, not the damn deflated footballs. I commend QB Tom Brady and Bill Belichick so much this week for putting up with that garbage. They are among the most classiest and professional people in sports for one of the great and most successful NFL franchises, especially this century. And now possibly, their careers, reputation, and ability to play and coach respectively are in jeopardy in the eyes of the media and swing voting, fair weather fans of sports. That being, the people who are just looking for something to agree on and not feel wrong, they all of a sudden hate Brady and Belichick. I’m so honored as a fan to have grown up and watch arguably the best QB-HC combo in the game, and now I cannot even enjoy watching them without knowing they have a million cameras and microphones in their face. If I were them this week, I would have walked in to that press conference, announced my presence right away and said something along the lines of “I’ll say this real quick and nothing more about it. I have no knowledge and had no involvement in the deflating footballs, and myself and our organization are working thoroughly to figure it all out. That should and will answer your questions about that. If you ask me a question other than our practice and preparation for Seattle, I will not answer. Because I answered it already for you.”…..That is just me personally. That’ll shut those damn people up (hopefully). Now I know they didn’t do that, and most players and coaches wouldn’t. In today’s world I believe, if they said something like that in any way, shape, or form, then it would be just like dangling the line in the media pond and they pump you question after question about it. I think it is the dumbest rule ever that athletes and coaches are required to speak to the media. Are you kidding me? If I don’t want to, then I won’t. It’s dumb. Pretty sure I have freedom of speech (or in this case, free to not talk). Get your damn cameras, mic’s, arrogance, and lack of knowledge out of my fucking face.

The media and coverage of sports and stories nowadays is just simply terrible. They should be there to cover games, start to finish, ask GAME-RELATED questions, and do their part and go home. It is simpler on everyone else, including the people with the cameras shoved in Tom Brady’s face. But no, we got to have a media where as long as the ratings are good, then it is no problem. What might be more sad? The fact that their ratings are higher when negative stuff happens, and when people who don’t have their own opinion or side to the story are glued to it and are instantly on the side of negativity. That speaks more so to the people of this country, and how we operate. Negativity rules!